How to Drink Scotch

In typical fashion, I began evangelizing scotch prior to giving any insight as to how to drink it.

You've already achieved a 5/10 on the manliness scale by electing to drink scotch, so bully for you.  Here's how not to mess this great start up.

Rules for Drinking Scotch:

1. When to Drink it Neat - If you've sprung for something 18 years or older, consider drinking it neat or with a limited amount of ice.  I tend toward the latter if the ice doesn't have its own flavor, which is an unfortunate rarity where I live.  Do not specify a specific number of cubes as the "correct number" that must be obeyed, however.  This is douchery.  Scotch does not go from a great thing to a bad thing in the space of one cube, so don't act like it does because you'll look like an idiot.  Don't drink red label neat, please (http://www.aa.org).  
2. Keep Drinking Scotch - You've started off well by selecting scotch.  Don't ruin it by switching to something carbonated, something with fruit, something that has the word "Calorie" anywhere near it, something any nearby women/inferior men are drinking, or anything that resembles a shot.  Continue drinking scotch.  If you get in trouble, drink some water. You can switch scotches if you like, though I tend to stay on the blended or the single-malt side of the tracks on any given night.  
3. Drink What they Have - Don't try to shout "Laphroaig" repeatedly at an uncomprehending waitress unless you think that bar might actually have it (it won't).  Yes, you can display your single-malt membership card to anyone who might be listening by doing this. You will also self-identify as the kind of person with mentions their ownership of a Bavarian-sourced automobile as part of any conversation they engage in.  Don't be that person.  Most service staff other than the bartender are dimly aware that scotch is something wet.  Drop by the bar, eyeball the selection and, if you don't like what you see, drink beer or something.  If you insist on drinking scotch, go somewhere where they have what you want.  That's how selection works.
4. Scotch is Not an Ingredient - Do not put things in your scotch that aren't ice, water, or sorrows.  Scotch is a drink for mature people, so treat it like one.
5. Scotch is Not for Everyone - Do not belittle non-scotch drinkers.  Picking on lesser beings displays weakness.  All people wish they could enjoy scotch whether they admit it or not, but not everyone is made of the same righteous scotch-drinking stuff that you and I are.  Pity is appropriate, but not mockery.

Observe these ground rules and you won't embarrass yourself or by association, me.

Bowmore

Not for the beginner, this whisky.  Prepare your mandibular orifice for a patch of peat, a spot of smoke, a belting of leather, and some accelerated growth in the man-parts.
Okay, down to business.
No one orders this on accident, which leaves more of this delightful liquor for our enlightened palates.  Moving from Glenfiddich or Glenlivet (not that those aren't great or that I don't love them) to this Islay gem feels something like moving from applejuice to scotch, with much the same feeling of transition to adulthood that comes from such different palate profiles.
Truly, this is scotch that makes people standing near you say "WHAT is THAT?", as the bouquet of old-schoolery and essential manliness wafts their way.
In case you couldn't tell, this scotch does it for me.
I highly recommend that you try this whisky and see if this branch of scotch is for you.

First Post

Greetings and thank you for reading the inaugural post for my newest blog.  I swear I will keep this one up and it will be different this time.